


The Purest Expression of Grief

by piratequeen



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst City, F/F, honestly I just needed to get this off my chest, spoilers for 4x06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 09:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10434828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piratequeen/pseuds/piratequeen
Summary: Set after 4x06. The night after they set sail for Philadelphia, Idelle goes to check on Max in her room.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys this is just a short fic that I needed to get off my chest. A cathartic fic if you will because I'm still grieving for the events after 4x06. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, it's really not my strong suit.

The boat swayed slightly from side to side as it made its way through the night. Idelle walked along the corridor, carrying a lantern that cast some light on the dark brown wood that the ship was made of. Stepping around one of the barrels that lined the hall, she made her way towards the sectioned off quarter that she and Featherstone shared on the ship. Most of the crew had to sleep in hammocks in the main sleeping quarters, but she had created a room-like area using pieces of sail material that would afford her some privacy. Max had also gotten her own room, one not made of sail material but actual wood that had apparently been the Quartermaster but Featherstone had offered up as a small way to repay Max for her protection. These accommodations were partly made due to privacy concerns and partly because some were worried that one of the crewmembers might seek revenge for Max’s part in the betrayal.

Walking by the door, Idelle stopped and knocked. There was no answer but she could see the light that came through the crack at the bottom of the door.

 

“Ma’am?” she said, pushing lightly on the door allowing it to creak open.

 

The room was brightly lit by the candles and lanterns that were placed around the room. Although there was no real bed, someone had included a bench-like bed and even a desk with a mirror attached and a boudoir. Max sat at the desk, wrapped in a light green silk robe, but had her face turned away so Idelle couldn’t see.

“I just came in to say good night” she said, stepping further into the room.

Silence followed

“Max?”

“Good night” came her reply, but her voice sounded rough and congested.

Idelle took a few more steps forward, stopping right behind Max. Max ducked her head, determined to not face Idelle. Idelle placed a hand on Max’s shoulder and finally Max turned and looked at her.

She had taken off the kohl that normally surrounded her eyes, revealing the bags that lay underneath.

Fuck, she looked tired, Idelle thought as she peered into her friend’s eyes. The weight of the last few days, hell months had finally caught up with her, leaving her normally bright and expressive eyes, bleak and haunted.

“Are you alright?” Idelle asked, mentally shaking herself, of course Max wasn’t alright.

“How could we all have sacrificed so much, and have nothing to show for it?” came Max’s reply, her voice rough.

Before she could reply, Max continued.

“Eleanor sacrificed everything for that damn island. She sacrificed everything she cared about and yet they still butcher her like some goddamned pig” her voice was shaking at this point, “it’s not fair”.

She looked up at Idelle, her eyes swimming with tears that began spilling over onto her cheeks.

A sob burst through and it was like suddenly all the walls that had been holding Max together had come crashing down and she began sobbing, her body folding in on itself until she was hunched over at her desk, racked with tears.

Idelle hurried over, kneeling in front of her and cupped her cheek.

“Max” she said and Max sobbed harder.

Idelle took her hand and pulled her up. Keeping a firm grasp on her hand, Idelle led Max over to the bench bed. Sitting down, she pulled Max down next to her.

It seemed like eternity that Max sobbed, her tears dripping down to leave wet spots on the green silk robe. Finally she took a shuddering breath

“Eleanor-“ she stopped to take another steadying breath “Eleanor was many things to me. A lover, a competitor, a teacher, an example.”

“I know how much she meant to you” Idelle said, her hand, which had let go of Max’s were now fisted in her skirts.

It had been an open secret, Eleanor and Max’s relationship. They had been the envy of the island, men and the girls alike, who either wanted to be a kept woman or had wanted to fuck Max or Eleanor or both, resented them. Idelle had been one of the few who knew how much they had cared for each other. Max openly and with all her heart while Eleanor had been more guarded but no less enamored.

“I don’t know if I will ever be able to figure out ‘ow I feel about Eleanor. It would take me longer than I have on this Earth to know”

Idelle stayed silent.

“I was coming to get her when the Spanish attacked. I- I could have saved her” Max said, her voice cracking at the end and she took a couple more breaths but a few rouge tears escaped, tracking their way down her cheeks.

“It’s not your fault,” Idelle said quietly, looking at her hands that were still clenched around her skirt.

Max looked at her and Idelle could see that she didn’t quite believe her but at least her tears had dried for now.

“It is a big day tomorrow, you should get some rest” Max said finally, getting up from her seat on the bed.

“I can stay, if you need me” Idelle said, getting to her feet.

“Go. I will be fine” Max said, with a small smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes.

Picking up her lantern, Idelle made her way over to the door, pulling it open she glanced one last time over at Max who was once more seated at the mirror, slowly pulling the pins out from her hair and undoing the braids. Closing the door softly she made her way down the hall, the boat rocking slowly as it made its way towards Philadelphia.


End file.
